Ten Things I Hate about Summer

I feel like a crabby contrarian every summer. Why? Because I hate this season.

It is heretical to say such a thing. A sacrilege to lemonade and the Fourth of July, swimming pools and a blistering sun. But say it I will. Here are the reasons why summer is highly overrated:

1. It's hot, people! Heat does not feel good. It feels sweaty and sticky and bloaty and puffy.

2. It's like an extended holiday where you're supposed to be happy and freespirited. Way too much pressure.

3. Traffic is a mess. I live in Colorado, and people flock to our mountains, clogging up the freeways.

4. Swimming suits. Need I say more?

5. Anybody who has seen me has noticed that my skin is white-white. Not pale, not fair. Blindingly white. And you know what that means? (Or perhaps you don't, unless you're a ginger.)  See no. 6.

6. I wear sunscreen year-round, but I go through gallons of the stuff during the summer. It's guggy and sticky and thick. (Have you noticed I've taken to creating my own words? Another side effect of summer.)

7. My brain doesn't feel at its best in the summer. Brains get soggy in the summer.

8. Crime goes up in the summer. It's true! Give me a cozy home in January where it's too cold for criminals.

9. Airports are crowded. Summer travel = crammed planes, long lines, delayed flights, and packed parking lots. Can you tell I just returned from California, where I experienced all of the above.

10. Heat. I know I already mentioned it, but it bears repeating. It's too darned hot!